All good things must come to an end, I guess. It's still really hard for me to accept that we shouldn't be together. Yesterday reiterated that to me. We both love each other. We have lots of fun together. It was such a joy spending that time with her. I haven't had that much fun just reconnecting like that. We are best friends who just have to separate I guess.
It's going to be really difficult for me to let go of her and not blame misled for 'not being good enough' for her. I feel like all I am going to think about is the fact that she was too good for me. I feel like I am going to compare any future relationship I have with my relationship with her. She is the girlfriend/wife I just wasn't good enough to get... I feel like I wasn't 'holy' enough for her. I feel like my relationship with God wasn't good enough for her standards. I feel like I've let the girl of my dreams slip through my hands. She is so loving, and she has such great direction in her relationship with God.
Do I think she is being selfish in her thoughts that if we got together she wouldn't be able to grow?
We talked about how the timing of our relationship just wasn't right. Our relationship was a college relationship. We peaked early on and staggered along after that. Our relationship want the best. She wants the best. She doesn't want to 'settle' for a relationship that isn't the best (now you see why it will be easy for me to beat myself up over not being good enough). We connected during our relationship because we were in the same place in life. But we have grown apart. We are not now where we were then. We are different people now. She needs someone 'different' than me. She says I am a great guy, but that she doesn't think that I can be the support she needs. She thinks back to our relationship and she can't trust me to love and cherish her because I didn't do so in the past.
