Restlessness

Why do I feel this restlessness?  Why do I continue to feel such distance from you?  You promise to be near, and to be constantly at work, but where?  I think you are right, and that I am not crazy, but why do I always have these doubts?

How can I love you, and dedicate myself to you?  How can I get to know you "personally?"  I want to seek you, to know you.  I desire truth and a real relationship more than anything.  Help me to trust you, and to trust your promises.  I am putting myself out there; I have been, and I will continue to do so.  Help me to trust that you are who you say you are, and that you really want the things you say you want for me.  I want to know you, and I want to trust you.  I don't want to desire what you give me.  I want to desire you for you.  Help me to do that.

Help me to feel a need and longing for communication with you.  I suck at communication with you.  I can talk "at" you all I want.  But I want to talk with you.  I want to hear from you.  I want to be assured.  I want be affirmed.  I don't want to feel alone.  I want to feel you moving