How much do I sincerely consider and think about what is best for her? I am always thinking about MYself, MY pain, MY future, MY struggles. What about her? She is going through a lot of pain as well (I mean, I think/hope she is...in a way). The conclusion that she came to that we were not meant to be (at least for now) was extremely difficult for her. It has caused and will most likely continue to cause her lots of pain too. She is acting on what she thinks is right, and what she thinks is God's will. How do I not respect that, even amidst all the pain? If I truly love her, I will let her go. She has chosen what she thinks is best for her, and what she thinks is best for me. I need to respect that, and love her by letting her go. If she truly loves me, and we are meant to be, we will get back together in the future. But if we are not meant to be, then we will not get back together, and it will be best for both of us not to get back together. I don't know exactly what "meant to be" means, but you get the point.
There is someone out there for me. If God has marriage planned in my life, then that special relationship will happen in due time, in God's time. I have to trust that He has a plan for me in my life relationship wise in general-wise (?), and that that plan is best for me. My plans fail, and are not best for me. I have to TRUST. I have to LET GO. I need to let go of all my self-pity and dwelling in the past, and embrace the now. There are plenty of reasons for me to have joy right now, and I need to embrace those and not let them slip by. God has the burden of planning out my life, not me. Take the weight off your shoulders. The burden isn't yours to bear. Embrace life in the now.
"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you...
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
2 Corinthians 4:8-12,16-18
"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you...
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
2 Corinthians 4:8-12,16-18
