Jon texted me on Sunday. His text read:
"Courtney and I broke up last week. I would love for you to be involved in my life. If you still are not ready for that I am going to respect that. My desire is to love you well and I know I have done a horrible job. I am sorry. It pains my heart knowing what additional pain I have caused you. Trying the best I can as a screwed up man trying to follow Christ."
HA! You want to be friends with me??? Bullshit
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On a similar note, I have been reminded of MCM more and more lately (the above texts being one of those instances), and obviously by those two breaking up...the door is open...as terrible as that sounds... But I can't ignore the fact that I am still completely sold for her... But last we talked, she didn't want anything to do with me...or so I think. What do I know? Do I risk contacting her again?
Jesus, what do you want of all this? What are you trying to teach me? I know I have been molded by all this. My desire for you has grown exponentially over the last couple of months. I feel you more and more each day. Worship has meaning now. My head connection is bridging the gap to my heart. You are active; you are changing me. I love you and I want to serve you, but I am still scared. I am still imperfect and I still desire the fulfillment of a relationship with her. What do you want me to do? Do I wait for her? Or do I persistently pursue her like her dad did with her mother? Jesus, what do you want me to do??
