So, she is still on the fence. I thought we were growing closer and closer to an actual relationship again. I was definitely looking forward to it, and I was leaning a lot of my joy and hope on it. But I don’t know whether it was all-in-all a good thing for me to be putting my chips in on her, because she is still unsure. And I don’t know if my assuredness is all good. I don’t know if I want to be with her because it is comfortable and because it physically makes me happy and comfortable, but she is still wavy. Sometimes her body language seems to be screaming for me, and then her mind speaks otherwise. I definitely don’t understand this girl, and I don’t think I ever will. I definitely respect her and I hope that I can continually grow to respect her more. She wants to make sure she is not in err. It’s a good quality, but it makes this process of “lukewarm relationship” hard.
I need to go out on my own tomorrow and really spend some time by myself.
