Courtney and I have been talking a lot more via text the last two days or so. Mostly expressing to each other how much this sucks, and if talking about it face to face would help each other at all. I expressed to her that I think that there may be some benefits to this break up, but I also can’t be sure it is “best.” Right from the get-go when we started this ‘breakup process,’ I expressed to her that I still wanted to be together. I thought our love for each other could overcome our problems. I wanted (and still want) to pursue God with her. I think my relationship with her would allow (or allowed) me to have a different perspective on a relationship with God that I wouldn’t have otherwise.
I do sincerely believe we can pursue God together. Obviously, we would have to be more intentional this go-around, but I do think we can do it. My heart is coming back around to Christianity, and I can’t think of another person in this world that I would rather pursue God with and struggle with. Like my dad said, I am pursuing a life partner, and I want my life partner to be her (I think). I at least want to be with her, so I can determine if she is “the one.”
